Words do hurt

So yesterday as I was talking to someone I haven't seen since high school. While discussing our lives and they asked "So when are you having kids?". One of my most dreaded questions. My response now is just "working on it". I don't very well want to go into detail what Pat and I have been through the past 6 years with them...Since chances are I won't see them for another 5 years.

So often things are said to me that I hate. Whether they are meant to be nice or not, they bring up hurt feelings. Here are some things that have been said to me that just want to make me cry.

"Well maybe it's just not meant to happen"

Really? So what you are trying to tell me is that i'm not meant to be a mother? I don't get that in life? I can tell you right now that I AM meant to be a mother. I may have to take a much more difficult path than others, but being a mother is a path I will get.

"Here, take my kids"

No, I don't want your kids. If I did, I would ask to spend the day with them. It also makes it seem like you don't want your kids (I know that's not true)...so here I am trying so hard to have kids, and you are just willing to give yours away at any given time.

"Just relax, it will happen. A friend of a friend got pregnant as soon as she stopped thinking about it"

Fuck you. Don't tell me to relax. I was "relaxed" the first 6 months to and year and that didn't work. Yes stress does play a factor, but you don't know what our problem is. And I can tell you a lot people don't get pregnant because they "relaxed"

"But trying is the fun part"

LOL. Really? Do you like planned sex? Having to work your entire schedule around your ovulation. When you are trying to get pregnant, sex becomes a job. It's no longer fun, its business.

"Why would you waste your money?"

First off...it's our money to "waste". Second off, its the thing I want most in life. Have you ever wanted something so bad in life you are willing to give almost everything up? Home renovations, vacations, nights out/parties.... If it costs money we are probably not going to go, or we will be doing it on the cheap. And would you put a max bid on your children?

"Well at least you're not dying"

Yes, thankfully I have my health. And I can say that my infertility has helped me become a healthier person. But, did you know that it is scientifically proven that women suffering from infertility go through the same emotion stresses as someone with cancer?

"Just adopt"

Do you know the process to adopt? It's hell. Maybe 20 years ago it was easy, but nowadays it is an extreme process. And I want to do what I can to have my own child....to have a little Pat or Crystal. That is a path that may have to be taken, but we will get there when we get there.

I'm not saying you have to walk on egg shells around us, but sometimes words do hurt. Showing your support, and letting us rant is more than enough.