Our Story

It all started 6 years ago. Pat and I made the decision that I was going off birth control and we were going to be "actively not preventing". It wasn't until a few months later (after the birth of Pat's nephew) that we started "actively trying". We tried for a year before going to the doctor (they won't really do anything for you until you have been trying for a year or more. It is normal for couples to try for 6-12 months before getting pregnant).

So the next summer I made an appointment with my family physician, who then referred me to a gynecologist, in turn referred me to a fertility clinic (in London). That process alone took about 6 months.

So now at the end of 2012, and we meet with our fertility doctor. We waited almost 2 hours to get it in. Once we were called they did some baseline bloodwork, and we met with the doctor. At this time he said he was going to start me on Clomid (Clomifene- to promote ovulation) in the new year and schedule me for my first test at the end of January.

End of January I had my HSG test (hysterosalpingogram- where dye is injected into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are open). This was actually kind of cool because they let you look at the screen to a see the dye go through everything. Not a painful process (although I have a high pain tolerance), just bloated afterwards. Test came back that everything was open and working properly.

2 more months of Clomid, we moved onto an IUI (Intrauterine insemination- a process that washes sperm and then is inserted directly into the uterus using a catheter). Again this procedure didn't bother me. It actually kind of tickled....which is weird to explain. First one didn't work. Did another one in April, which they suggested we do a double IUI (2 inseminations within 24 hours). So we did...not results. We did another double IUI in May. At THIS time the nurse mentioned my cervix. A cervix is generally straight...some curve or tilt, mine is a fucking rollercoaster. It actually loops, and twists. So the "tickling" that I felt before was the catheter hitting the wall when it was trying to find its way in.

So now we are into July. We finally meet with our doctor again (last time we saw him was our initial consultation. All the bloodwork, ultrasounds, and IUI's were performed by his nurses). He suggested we move on to IVF, and stated our infertility was "idiopathic". We decided that we were going to take the summer off and we would move onto IVF in the fall.

Since i'm the type that likes to plan and know things ahead of time I started doing some research on IVF. This is when I found the article about my doctor. I was devastated. His wife was a doctor at the clinic too, but I had never seen her (A friend of mine was with her, and ended up having some serious pregnancy complications). Turns out she was in some trouble as well. I was done. As soon as I finished reading the article I was finding other clinics in London to transfer to.

Bringing us to October 2013. We met with our new (and current) doctor for an initial consultation. He didn't have any files on us yet, because we had to sign over our care. He warned us that once the paperwork went through we might be contacted asking why we left by the other clinic.....and I was. Almost to the point of harassment. 15-20 phone calls were made with nasty messages (never bothered to answer). Doctor ordered some more bloodwork, and a few extra tests (a bunch of stuff that the old doctor didn't do).

Beginning of 2014 we met with the doctor again. At this time we found out that we were IVF patients from the beginning (low AMH, and slight male factor). The IUI's that the other clinic actually decreased our chances (this was all found out through the stuff that the other doctor DIDN'T do). We met with the nurses for our IVF training, and started the process with my March cycle.

IVF is 2 steps. First is the retrieval, and second is the transfer (I will go into more detail about this when I go thought it again). With the retrieval comes the injections, and driving back and forth almost every other day....not a very fun process. I was either driving, working, or sleeping (it physically takes a lot out of you). On the 25th of March when I was expecting a phone call about when to take my "trigger" shot, I was notified that we had to cancel my retrieval because I was ovulating on my own. Not a good phone call to get at work I can tell you that.

April we give it another go. This time things go as planned, and they successfully retrieved 12 eggs. I was told to take it easy the next few days because I was a high risk of OHSS (Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). During these days I would get a phone call with updates of our embryos. We had 9 make it to 5 days, which were then frozen. Those numbers were excellent. It it normal to lose over 60% of your embryos in the fertilizing process.

Since we did a "freeze all" I had to wait till July for a transfer. The transfer in July didn't take, same results with the one in September, then the next one in March of 2015 (this one 2 were transfered) with the same results. At this time I was sent for some more tests. A Sonohysterogram, and a Hysertoscopy. The first one was done in the clinic, and the second one I actually had to be put out for. Again all the results came back good. We took the summer off again and went back in for September.

The transfer in September ACTUALLY TOOK!!!!! I couldn't begin to tell you how excited we were. I was taking pregnancy tests daily just to see those 2 pink lines, only the lines weren't getting darker. I went back for my second pregnancy test to find out I had a chemical pregnancy. It was gone. This was looking good though, we got a positive. So in February of 2016 we went back for another. This one had an extra test (Mastris) to make sure my lining was excellent (which it was). Preg test comes back.....nothing.

I have never had signs of endometriosis, but the doctor thought at this time a laparoscopy might come up with some answers. This was an actual surgery. 3 incisions are made in your stomach so they can take a look inside. He also did another HSG test, as well as a biopsy. Once again everything came back good....great even. WTF??

Bringing us to pretty much where we are now. Since internally everything looks great and I have a very welcoming home for an embryo, we have to take a look at the embryos themselves. So my next round of IVF is going to have PGS testing (Preimplantation genetic screening) done on our embryos. This is done to make sure our embryos have the right number of chromosomes.

So while I was writing this I had to refer back to my expenses log. We have spent over $20,000, I have had my blood taken over 50 times, over 30 vaginal ultrasounds, injected myself about 30 times, driven back and forth to London close to 70 times, taken endless number of oral and vaginal medications, and i'm missing probably a dozen other infertility related things. This journey is not for the faint at heart. I had no idea I was as strong of a person as I am, physically and mentally. Yes, I am an emotional basket case but I know our end game and won't stop until we are there.