Childhood Memories = Painful Triggers

So the other day I decided to watch "The Little Mermaid". As soon as the first song came on I started crying. Not joking....during The Daughters of Triton...I'm crying. Instead of enjoying the movie that was my ENTIRE childhood, my mind has taken a totally different turn. I may not get to experience this with MY child....the constant repeating of movies/tv shows, the complete obsession with a certain character, the memorization of dialog and songs. Some parents probably hate all their kids shows/songs, but you get to watch the passion your child has for something. To see them get SO excited to watch something they have seen over 100 times. As adults we loose the amusement in the small things in life.

This is how warped your mind becomes with infertility. We were looking at pictures of my husband when he was a child (by the way, he was pretty much the CUTEST lil guy ever!!). Again my mind doesn't see how cute his was, and how much he enjoyed his childhood...it sees that I may never get to have these pictures of my child or that I may never look at my child and see their father.

I hate that infertility just takes over your life. You see things so differently. Things that most people get to enjoy, I now dread and hate.